New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
