Kiss
Puke
You're completely useless in the revolution.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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