So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
