Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
