Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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