Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
