Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Shame - the story of my life.
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