the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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