Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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