When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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