well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
