We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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