I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
