I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize