Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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