I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
