You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize