my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
