i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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