Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
