I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
