Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
