quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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