ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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