So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
