yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
