We won't sleep together?
Your dad touched me again.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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