If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
