there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
