if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
