Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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