I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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