Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
