With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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