There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
