I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize