Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
