fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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