i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
