Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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