Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
even my farts smell like vagina
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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