I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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