the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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