his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
