you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
