So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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