is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
