I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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