just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
