we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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