4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
