craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
