Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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