I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
