And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
