Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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