piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
